Hawt Wind Tunnel Secks
by RodIldKitsune
Summary: Miroku and Kikyou have never met, only talked over AIM. Now, they're both going to meet at Inuyasha's party. Won't this be fun? Oneshot! R&R!


_**A/N: I didn't end it b4, but it's ended now. Enjoy and R&R DANG IT!**_

_**Disclaimer: Ok! I'll say it! I don't own Inuyasha! Now stop threatening to sue me!**_

A/n: It's my first comedy romance one shot. And it's about Miroku and Kikyou! Come on ppl, how much more creativity to you wish of me! LOL. Ok, hope you enjoy it. R&R!

PyroOnTheEdge has now signed on.

He smiled, clicking her screenname and typing a witty greeting.

CursedHand167: Hello my pyromaniac love.

There was a pause on the other end as she typed a reply.

PyroOnTheEdge: Watch it lecher.

He laughed, brushing back a lock of his raven bangs.

CursedHand167: How are you?

PyroOnTheEdge: Fine. Thank you.

The girl on the other end rolled her eyes, sighing into her hands. There wasn't a single moment she could sign on where she didn't have to come face to face with him. Though she still wasn't sure who he was, she knew him very well. And she knew it was only a matter of time before…

CursedHand167: Have you considered bearing my child?

She groaned, brushing back her long black bangs and readjusting her white ribbon. She knew that was coming.

PyroOnTheEdge: Go to Hell.

CursedHand167: But you told me it wasn't so nice there.

She clicked an away message. One that she always chose in this situation…

_PryoOnTheEdge:  
Miroku. I'm away from my computer. So go screw another girl.  
Byez!_

Miroku clicked away from his triple X site. He had seen everything there already. He looked at Kikyou's message and laughed.

CursedHand167: If only it was that easy…

Kikyou returned, laughing a little at Miroku's ignorance. Though her laugh sounded maniacal and creepy.

PyroOnTheEdge: Ok, so what do you want?

CursedHand167: I wanted to know if you were going to be at the party tonight.

Kikyou's brown eyes settled on the invitation beside her keyboard. Her ex-boyfriend Inuyasha had invited her to his party, but she wasn't so sure how well that would work out. After all, Inuyasha still wasn't quite over her. But just look at her! Slim figure, tall and dark, and flawless clay complexion, no potter could resist her!

PyroOnTheEdge: I don't know…

A skeptical look flashed in Miroku's eyes.

CursedHand167: Please?

He hated to beg, but it was the only chance he could get to see Kikyou. And the girl was thinking the same.

PyroOnTheEdge: All right. I'll go.

Miroku became overjoyed as he jumped into the air and knocked over his computer chair. He blushed, happy that Kikyou couldn't see his reaction.

CursedHand167: All right. Bye.

CursedHand167 has signed off.

Miroku danced around the room, lifting his chair back up and walking over to his closet. He had to look amazing to see Kikyou. He rummaged in the very back of his wardrobe, looking for his very special outfit.

"Ah ha!"

He yanked out a dark purple pimp suit, a dark blue turtleneck sweater to go underneath the jacket. His purplish-blue eyes widened mischievously as he tossed the suit on the bed and pull out a pair of fashionable Timberlands, colored with a purple to match the suit.

He went into the shower and shed his clothes, turning on the radio. His smile, already on his face since Kikyo had said yes, widened when his favorite song came on.

"Super freak, super freak." Miroku sang out to his brush as he thrust his pelvis about in the shower.

If he was at a karaoke bar right now, I wouldn't be sure if they would've thrown him out or be in awe by his perverted dancing.

He jumped out of the shower, scrubbing his teeth and eyeing himself in the mirror.

"All right Miroku," he psyched himself up, "This is your night. Make it shine!"

He winked at himself, grabbing some gel and smoothing back his short black hair so that it looked wet and slick. He strutted his naked body into his room and threw on a pair of gold boxer briefs then slipping his long legs into his purple pants.

Miroku looked sharp in his tux and jet back hair swept back like a villain. His smile was enough to finish his look as he slipped in his two golden hoop earrings.

Kikyou, after Miroku left, continued to surf the Internet, reading fanfics about Rumiko Takahashi.

"The situations they put her in!" she cried, laughing as she shut down her computer.

She looked at the time: 6:32. She had at least two hours to get ready.

She went and started a hot bath, dipping herself in. But dirt began to fill the water so quickly it alarmed her to realize she was melting away. She jumped out of the water and tried to dry herself, having to sculpt her flawless figure over again in some places.

She went into her room and placed on a thong and fresh bra, then slipping on her burgundy jeans and buttoning her white blouse.

She debated leaving her hair down, but decided she might as well look as casual as possible, tying her hair again with that same white ribbon.

Her chocolate eyes played over her appearance in the mirror, then she looked at the time. 8:15. She might as well start walking.

She grabbed her purse and waved goodbye to her two dogs Soul and Collector as she left her house.

At the same time, Miroku was grasping on to Kagome's slim waist as she pedaled on the bike.

"Gee Miroku, thanks for nothing."

Miroku smiled at her back.

"Anytime." He replied, hands inching toward her breast.

_SQUEE!_

The pink bike made a sharp turn, just barely missing the girl in front of them.

"Sango!" Kagome cried, looking back and turning around, "Are you ok?"

To which Miroku added, "And your ample bottom. Is it ok as well?"

The raven-haired girl shot him a nasty look, and then adjusted her black leather jumper.

"You have to help Kirara and me. We've lost Kohaku again!"

Kagome sighed with exasperation. That girl never let go of that dmn cat but she could never hold on to her brother.

"Did you check at Naraku's house?"

Sango nodded.

"His girlfriend Kanna said he wasn't there."

She didn't mention how she caught them playing kinky sex games with Kagura in chains. That just didn't seem appropriate at them time.

Miroku poked Kagome.

"We're going to be late for the party."

Kagome nodded and waved good-bye to Sango. They would help her find him later.

They arrived at the party minutes late, and dashed up to the door. Kagome rang the doorbell, straightening her green skirt as she waited for the door to be opened.

"Hello." Came a cool voice from inside, "Please join us."

Inuyasha, who had died his hair white a month ago, was dressed in casual red slacks and a white and burgundy Abercrombie sweater that hugged his features nicely. His feet were adorned in nothing but white socks. This was his house after all.

Kagome hugged him then stepped inside, Miroku following after. The house was pretty elegant, and Gackt was blasting in the background. It made him want to dance.

Kouga stood by the buffet table, chatting with Ayame. He was sporting a simple tuxedo, nothing flashy, with shining black shoes and a rose peaking from his pocket. Ayame on the other hand, looked like a hooker in her mini skirt and long stiletto heels.

Kouga spotted Kagome.

"Kagome, my love, you're here!"

He shoved aside Ayame, who ended up splashing punch on her tube top as he walked over to Kagome. He removed the rose from his pocket.

"For you." He said, handing it to her.

Kagome smiled, but one look from Inuyasha and her grin was quickly wiped away.

"Who the hell invited you?" he asked, stepping in between Kouga and Kagome.

"No one dog-breath." Kouga retorted.

'Uh oh.' Kagome thought, 'Here we go again.'

But right before they could begin to argue the doorbell rang. Miroku's heart leaped in his chest. Could it be PyroOnTheEdge?

"Hey Inuyasha!" a squeaky voice chimed out and Miroku immediately knew that wasn't Kikyou.

A short, annoying little red head came poking through the door, stepping inside and straightening his embarrassing sailor suit.

"How come I wasn't invited?"

Inuyasha placed his sock-clad foot on the little child's head.

"Because no runts are allowed."

Shippo pulled out a beer bottle and shook it in front of them all. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed.

"Where did you get that Shippo?" Kagome asked.

He shrugged.

"The refrigerator. I'm Irish. It's not a good day unless I'm drunk as a leprechaun."

"Amen to that."

Everyone's gaze went over to the stares as they spotted Inuyasha's older brother Sesshomaru. He was dressed completely in black, black eye liner smudged around his eyes and powder made his face ghastly pale. Like his brother, his hair was also dyed white, so he looked sort of like a ghost in the dark. A shot glass was clasped in his one hand. He was born handicapped.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha questioned, looking annoyed.

Sesshomaru rolled his amber eyes.

"Chill. I only came to get my feather boa. I'm going to have some fun on the web cam with Jaken."

Everyone shuddered as the tall male grabbed his article of clothing and scurried back upstairs, giggling like a schoolgirl.

Miroku was becoming weary. Where was Kikyou?

_Ding dong._

Inuyasha opened the door and smiled brightly.

"Kikyou! The woman I'd die for!"

Kagome looked aggravated as Kikyou stepped inside, glancing over the room. She didn't see Miroku. Was it a mistake to come?

"Kikyou?"

She paused, and smiled. Could that be him?

"Miroku?"

They both grinned and embraced each other in a hug. Kikyou couldn't imagine a more tender moment. Nothing could ruin the happiness she felt now to see him.

She paused.

_Grope, grope._

'Please do not tell me there is a hand on my ss.'

She went stiff as Inuyasha growled, "Hey Miroku. Get your hands off my woman!"

Miroku smiled in content. He had waited so long to do that. Kikyou backed away from Miroku, that smile still plastered on her face, but it was scary the way it looked like it hurt. Almost like she hadn't ever smiled before.

Dmn that…

SLAP! 

Miroku hit the ground, passing out into a coma from the deafening blow.

Kikyou's hand shattered she hit him so hard. Damn her clay-like body! She wasn't through with his perverted a$$ quite yet!

Inuyasha freaked, crying something about 'if he had the shards this never would've happened.' Let us keep in mine what he really wanted those jewel shards for…

Kagome was freaking out because she suddenly remembered she forgot to feed Buyo, and Kouga was creeping upstairs to go watch Sesshomaru. Dirty little devil!

Shippo had left minutes before to go over to Rin's house for a fun time. Naked twister!

Everyone was doing something except for Ayame, who died somewhere throughout this story. R.I.P Ayame. Everyone has had you, so know one will miss you.

And Jaken lived happily ever after.

Oh, but before this tale is through, I should probably tell you all. Kagura may be the wind, but she sure does like to be bound. )

The End!


End file.
